“Lois
wore sincerity like a jewel,” said Jo.
It
was the loveliest and most original compliment I’d heard in a long time. Jo was
her close friend and caretaker, and she was speaking at Lois’s memorial
service. It was the first of two tributes to Lois that especially caught my
ear.
I’d
met Lois a few times but did not really know her. She was an anchor and a beloved
matriarch to my friend Markell’s family, so I went to the service to support
Markell.
During
the celebration of her life, I learned that Lois had poured her energy into
friendships, nieces and nephews, travel, teaching, and learning. She loved
Jesus, loved her friends and family, and knew how to have fun. She was known
for the twinkle in her eye and her laughter. Lois would call her friends,
reaching out just to check on them and see how they were doing. She never
stopped learning and growing, even in the last few years of her life.
Although
Lois and the love of her life (Ed) were married for over fifty years, they were
not able to have children. They were both teachers, and when they saw how much
trouble other couples had adopting children, they decided to pour their energy
into loners, their students, and other people in their lives.
As
I’ve realized over the past several years that I won’t be having any children
of my own, I’ve wondered what kind of influence I have. Don’t get me wrong – I
love my two stepsons, and I happily claim them. (Not to mention that cutie-pie
grandkid!) Still, Brandon and Wes were twenty-two and nearly seventeen,
respectively, when Bill and I married. It’s not like I raised them. So when I
see the pictures that my friends, cousins, and siblings post of their kiddos on
Facebook, I sometimes wonder what effect my life has. A little voice in my head
says, Who will miss me when I’m gone? Who
will worry about me as I get old and feeble? Who will choose my nursing home,
gosh darn it?!
Because
no one has more impact on other people than a mother does on her children, I
can be tempted to believe that because I’m not a mom, I have no influence, no
effect, on other people, that what I do does not matter.
The celebration
of Lois’s life reminded me that that’s not true. As I watched the slide show
and video and listened to people speak, I thought, Look at all the lives Lois touched! Look at all she gave. . . .
In
Luke 6:38, Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into
your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be
measured to you in return.”
Lois
gave a lot, and she was loved and appreciated in return.
The
second tribute that stayed with me was from my friend Markell, Lois’s niece.
Markell said, “She is gone, but she left my cup full.”
Now that’s a good way to go.
Now that’s a good way to go.